I miss the touch of your breath onto my skin. The feel of your palms as they close with mine. I miss the feel of your lips on my forehead as you plan a featherly kiss upon it as we sit beside each other. I miss the sound of your breath as I quietly rest on your chest. I miss the way your fingers run through my curly hair.
Each of these seemed like poetry being carefully crafted, or music meticulously composed.... and I miss those moments when we write our own poems and compose our music. I miss you.
For now, these past few days, I felt like living in an old nightmare. The feeling that you know that the end will soon come and you are just painfully counting the days. Though I still hope that things will not turn as I pessimistically imagined them to be, still I get scared and sad and frustrated all at the same time. Cause I never imagined that we will ever be in this plane - when both our ends no longer intersect - as if you have your own world and I am beginning to build my own.
You seee, I have always imagined that you and I will stay as we used to be - comfortable in each other's absence and serene when we are together. But now, here I am feeling sad and blue and scared to death for I have a feeling that ours is a terminal case and soon we will meet the end. Our plans will not see their fulfillment and the names I have created will never own your face.
I really wish to have my lifetime spent with you. I know that it wont be perfect ad we will argue sometimes... probably even most of the time. But still we will hold each others hands and kiss the back of each other's palm in a silent assurance that things will be all right. I have dreamt of waking each morning of my life staring upon your face as you silently take your baby breaths. I know that there are times that you wont come home because of work that you need to do... but that would be fine because you will call me and tell me not to wait for you.
I know things will not be perfect just as we have wished them to be but still we will cling on to one another and silent reassure each other that everything is under control.
But never in that picture have we included that you will not have a time with me... and would even forget for the briefest of all moment that one is not existing... for our worlds are symbiotically existing.
But then, all of those are but dreams... and dreams they are meant to be - at one point I would have to wake up to my nast, brutish, and short reality.
