Mis-adventures of the Half-wit Me

-hormonal imbalance-

suddenly i just felt that you stopped caring. i don't know if this is just some hormonal imbalance that reminds me i am a member of the female sex or this is again a gut feeling that more often than not is true. i do not know what to think but i have a lot of feelings going on.

i cannot even recall when did this first bout of self-pity cum self-realization/exaggeration happened. but this afternoon after painstakingly trying to put myself to sleep, i have done so much thinking and feeling about our current situation. and sadly, i felt that you stopped caring.

missing you

i have been missing you for the longest time now. i miss the old you who sincerely showed me that he cares. the you who remembers, forgives, cuddles, embraces, kisses and who constantly reminds me that he loves me. i miss that person. right now, all i feel is a mechanical interaction, a rehearsed methodology of Hi's, hello's, and how are yous. Gone are the concerned inquiry about how my day went or your day went. Gone are the days when i felt that you were there for me.

actually, it never had any difference when you got a job and when you lost your job - you remained that cold, emotionless person i am exchanging i love yous with hoping that the frequency and intensity of my words would awake the Galatea in you. i was wrong. you remained to be that cold beautiful marble. it gets worse, unfortunately, you feel more distant than ever.

i admit that there has been moments when i was tempted to find the attention i am looking for from other people, from another flame may be. i was wrong again. the more i interact with them the more that i miss the you i have fallen in love with, the you that has been lost in who you are right now.

i miss that sensitive man whose arms i miss tugging. i miss that expressive man who never failed to amaze me every single day.

i am still hoping that you'd come back. i just hope that when you do, i am still the same person here for you. i hope that i do not get immune to this coldness and become a statue myself. i hope that i do not take this current situation as the norm.